Part 2: Kickin' Ass and Takin' Magi (Part 1)

Roy?

I just saw dad! C'mon, after him!











Dad! It's Roy!

...

Dad?

Mr. Butte? Is that you?

Remember when I killed your father, Roy? I talked...





JUST... LIKE... THIIIIIIIIIIIS

AAAAAAAAAAAAH

CURSE YOUR EYES, THE HAT COMES FOR US ALL! FLEEEEEEEE

Wait, no! Come back! ... Aw.

Like, that wasn't very nice.

I was just having a bit of fun. I didn't mean to scare her. Anyway, I'm afraid I'm not your father.

Funny, you look like him from behind!

From the front, nnnnnot so much.

_Shh

Nah, it's okay. The eyes are offputting. They've got advantages, though!

Oh yeah?








Coooool.

Anyway, here's a tip for your trouble.





Lotsa people talking about them these days. Find some ruins, you might find some magi.

Great! Thanks!

Now we just have to get Sara out of that tree.

THE TOME OF ETERNAL HABERDASHERY HAS BEEN OPENED! FUEL YOUR SAWS AND PREPARE FOR JUDGEMENT!




A little while later...








Why are we at this inn?

We need to get Sara calmed down, Heather. Maybe she'll be better after a little nap.

Ugh, you are all so weird. Forget this, I'm going shopping.

Hey! That's our money, too!

We need to get weapons and armor. We will get ourselves totally killed without them.





Just get her to stop screaming. I'll take the rest. Don't wait up.

I am completely fine with not going shopping. Okay, Sara. Just try to take some deep breaths or something.

_{can'tsleephatswilleatmecan'tsleephatswilleatme}




Inns in SaGa work quite a bit different than most RPGs. Rather than paying a fixed fee up front and recharging all your characters, you pay by hit point. It's kind of mercenary but can actually save money in the long run. FFL1 was pretty brutal about this; if you didn't have the gold, too bad fuck you slappy. It got ugly if you didn't know what you were doing and ran out of resources. Happily, FFL2 is much more merciful, and there's more places you can heal your guys for free. You still need an inn to recharge abilities, but you can get a free heal and then pay 0GP for the recharge. It's convoluted, but it works.





This is a better translation, but I miss "Bye bye!"










Omigod, this is soooo much better.

Hi! What can I interest you in?

Do you have any armor? Like, in fuscha?

Do you always end your sentences with that inflection? It makes it sound like you're always asking a question.

Uh, yeah? It's just a habit?







Shop layout is kind of arbitrarily split in FFL2 but fairly consistent. You get your weapons in one place and everything else (including armor) in another. The armor shop is also the item shop, so it's a little confusing when you walk into a place with a sword sign and don't see any armor. If you run out of the first town thinking there's no armor for sale yet, you're gonna get rolled.

Anyway, bronze armor is available here for cheap, and we might as well load up—including Roy. Our humanoid characters come with bronze armor, so all we need is helmets and gauntlets. We can't get bronze armor for Roy, but he's already got a bronze shield equipped, and it's about the same thing on bots.

All non-Roy characters also come with decent-to-poor starting weapons. Compared to FFL kicking you out there naked and armed with a crappy little rapier, this is heaven. Enjoy it while it lasts.





There are a variety of weapon families in SaGa, and pretty much all of them have their own unique quirks. They include, in no particular order:

• Heavy Swords
  
• Light Swords
  
• Axes
  
• Guns
  
• Whips
  
• Artillery (!)
  
• Spellbooks
  
• Martial Arts
  
• "Other"
  

The first three work pretty much like you'd expect, we've gone over guns, and we'll get to the rest in due time. "Other" is a catchall for combat items; they're not a stat-based attack item per se, but using them in combat causes some sort of effect or attack anyway. An example is the Heal staff, which heals your party members (durr) and costs approximately eleventy billion gold. This is particularly hilarious because a cure book costs way less. There may or may not be a benefit to using a staff over spellcasting, but I'm sure as hell not spending the money to find out.






Man I'm beat. You wanna get a latte?

I thought Heather took all our money?

Nah, I hid some of it. I mean, I feel bad, but—

I wouldn't. She's kind of a jerk.





Ugh. Place hasn't been the same since they put in conversation tables.

I dunno! It's roomier.









So a giant pillar is holding up the entire planet, which is flat.

Yup, that's about the size of it.

Heather's right, people are weird.





Hey, guys! What's shakin'?

You see the news? Ashura's shock troops set up shop in the north mountains.

They must be lookin' for the magi.

Who's Ashura?

I don't know. I don't know what magi is. I don't know anything, because they took my brain. He said I could get it back, but I don't remember how, 'cause I ain't got no brain.

YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SELL HIM A SWORD YOU MORON

See? This is exactly why I don't like the conversation tables.




Pubs are, as always, the RPG epicenter of plot dumpage. Owing to Nintendo's Standards and Practices of the time, this is (apparently) a coffee shop and not a bar. It's never really made explicit, which is actually pretty tasteful.





You can buy a drink for 10GP. It does absolutely nothing—here, anyway—but it's a pretty cool touch. Also, over in the corner...





Neat, they have one of the new juke-gramophones. Wanna listen to something?

Sure, why not?





This song is totally my jam!

...




The jukebox is a neat little feature in bars that serves as a sound test. For 1GP, you can change the background music to pretty much anything you want. It'll stay that way, even across fights, until the next time a music change happens. (i.e. If you just go from overworld tune to overworld tune, the music will persist.) Here, Zero has chosen the "victory" song that plays after you win a fight.




DAH DAH DAHT-DAH DAH, DAHT DAH DAH-DAH DAH

please kill me




It's pretty obnoxious. I don't recommend it.

Also, we'll be showing off the songs as MP3s as soon as I get Audacity working right think it's pertinent. For now, just trust me: I'm saving you valuable space in your brain by not including that song.







I mean, that sword was so last year. Who uses a rapier? It's like, hello? No one's going to pierce armor with that thing.

How would you know?

H—hello, everyone.

Sara! Feeling any better?

A little. I'm sorry about earlier.

It's okay. This stuff is scary to all of us.

I don't understand. Why was the man in the hat so nice to us? Mother says hats are evil.

They're just a thing you wear on your head, you weirdo. Here, put on this helmet.



Heather? Let's just take this one step at a time.







Alright, I asked around town, and there's a shrine run by a Cleric of Isis a little ways west of here. If anyone knows anything about magi, it'll be her.





RARG


Yeah, but we have to stay alive long enough to get there!




One of the few good things about FFL's combat system was the control you had over your guys' growth. Mutants were pretty much the only x-factor (SEE WHAT I DID THERE); everyone else could be herded down any path you wanted. Not so much in FFL2—at least, not yet. You're at the mercy of the RNG for now.




Let's show 'em what we're made of! Draw your weapons and—the hell, Zero?

What?





Where did you get that thing? Your dad's toolbox?




Meanwhile...





Look, it was free, okay?

Whatever works. CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE











...

This sword is awful. I am never shopping there again.





Let's... let's just move on.




All non-robot members of the party suck right now. All of them. (Well, actually, that's not fair—Sara and Zero are pretty useful when not using weaons, but ~storyline~.) Fortunately, Roy can shoot just about any threat dead right now. He's also stuffed full of random weapons and has the stats to do serious damage with them. Furthermore, his defense is near impenetrable by the scrubs in the first world. It will probably be said at least once per update, but it bears repeating: Robots are awesome.

It's gonna take a bit before everyone else catches up, though. No one's really doing more than 10 damage right now, and there's no fix except to fight and be patient. Fortunately, we can use Roy's shield (thanks to KataraniSword for this tip) to take him out of the fight and give everyone else a chance to flail around inanely. A point or two of strength makes a pretty big difference, so it's worth the aggravation.

Side note: I'm happy to report we picked up some HP off-camera. Unlike FFL1, if one of our guys gets stuck with 98 HP for the entire game, we're screwed. So, this was an exciting development!










Ugh. Good thing, too. I'm running out of ammo here.

Where do you even get that stuff from?

Trust me, you don't want to know.







...

Sara?

Mother says Isis is a lie. There is only saw.

Your mom told you a lot of things that weren't true.

Heather!

What? She needs to stop being scared of everything. It's not healthy.

Mother wouldn't lie to me. The saw is family.

Sara, we're not attending services or anything. We're just going to talk to the people inside. It'll be okay.










Don't you get the news out here?

What the heck is the news?

Guess that answers that question.





Yikes. No kidding.

Yeah. Acne, man. It's a killer.

Tell me about it!







Hi! Are you here to see Ki?

Looks like it. Do we need an appointment or something?

Nah! We're pretty relaxed around here. Talk to the Captain, he'll make sure Ki's available.

The captain?

You guys. My awesome senses are tingling.







Arr. Ye be wantin' Ki?

Sí.

Oui.





How much?

Ki? She be free.

Whee!

We are talking to a pirate skeleton. This entire trip is so worth it.

Be wipin' yer feet on the mat before you proceed to the altar, yar.







Hi! Could you tell us—





AUGH

Warn us next time or something!

Sorry! I get a little carried away sometimes.

...

Oh! You look troubled. What's wrong?

Mother says I shouldn't be talking to you.

Oh. Oh no. I've seen this before. You're from the Cult of the Saw, aren't you?

The saw is family. The saw is life.

Is there anything we can do? She's been like this since we met her.

Well, some of it's behavioral, but I can definitely help. Dw yn mynd i gwybod!



Woah.

...wha? What happened? Where am I?

Holy cow! What did you do?

I flushed the gasoline out of her system with a Heal spell. That's the easy part. The rest is up to her.

Wait, who are you guys?

You may want to sit down. This'll take a while.




Later...







What would you do with them? Be a god?





Uh, yes way!

Psh, more like no way!

Well fought, my friend. Enjoy your victory.

Seriously, we just want to find my dad. Last I heard, he was chasing after magi.





*twitch*

You okay?

Fine. I'm fine.

Do you know where he went?!





How long ago?

I dunno, couple of weeks? I've been here for a couple of centuries, I kind of lose track of time.

You've been alive for centuries? How did you stay so pretty?

It's totally easy. My mom has this cream that reduces eye wrinkles.

Need to get me some of that!

Do you know which way dad went?

'Fraid not. He rushed out of here in a hurry after I healed him.

At least we know he's alive now. Thanks for your help!





People say there's magi in the relics of the ancient gods.

What, the guy with the weird eyes?

You noticed those too? I mean, wow.

I know, right?

Anyway...





...big rock in the southern forests. You're good people, I'm sure they'll be safe with you.

Thank you. Not just for the advice, either.

No worries! You stay away from oil-distilled products, okay? That stuff is bad for your brainmeats.

I will. I still have to wonder, though: how did I survive drinking all that gasoline?





Oh.

Esper genetics. Gotta love 'em!




(Just a quick note: O-Poison is an immunity. Mutants and monsters will pick these up as well as weaknesses (i.e. X-Fire). For now, this means Sara can't be poisoned and takes no damage from poison-based attacks. It's not super powerful, but it can come in handy.)







Well, looks like we're spelunking!

My mom has a cream for that, too.

What kind of adventure did you three rope me into?!